apparently when i was waking up from the anesthesia i was talking to my mom and i was telling her how weird my face felt and i pointed to my mouth and i said “this feels weird” and i pointed to my right cheek and i said “this feels weird” and i pointed to my left cheek and i said “THIS feels weird” and i pointed to my forehead and i said “this feels GREAT”
MY FRIEND DIANE MADE A ZIPLOC BAG JACKET
she is the future
back to school outfit sorted
BLESS THIS TEACHER HOLY CRAP
‘arent we supposed to have antlers or something’
‘fuck if i know’
Aw aw aw aw a billion times AWWW
[ Urge to shove the shard to his heart intensifies ]
Remember ladies: it doesn’t matter how you do on your finals, as long as your future husband is doing well on his.
greatest pickup line of all time
IVE BEEN WANTING TO REBLOG THIS FOR THE LONGEST TIME OMG
filling a bathtub with the substance, throwing the person you hate the most in the tub and throwing the ice cube in the tub right after …. it would be over
Are you serious right now? I’m a fully certified neurosurgeon. I can break into people’s heads and rewire their brains and tamper with their memory, no problem. But this? This juice box? This sugary drink marketed for eight year olds? No. Sticking a straw into this juice container is apparently just too much for me to handle without fucking it up. I’m done. I quit. Goodbye.
taylor swift could make a screamo album all in spanish and she’d still be categorized as a country artist
*thinks about the future for three seconds* *has a mental breakdown that lasts three weeks*